More reflections and personal opinions

The MBA has brought plenty of learnings this far - in terms of working with people here, in terms of understanding my personal strengths and opportunities and in having fun. Some observations that i admire about people here, and some things that i find strange.

My classmates are very results-driven and pragmatic. In typical meetings, every person comes informed and with an attitude of finishing the work right then. There's very little time wasted in explaining or reexamining concepts which have been covered in the assigned reading. My colleagues are interpretive and grasp the concepts needed to get the job done very quickly. Also, they communicate very efficiently, talking facts and solutions. People expect that you are credible and that you mean what you say or hint at. You would be held liable for what you speak. Their listening skills are strong, and people are quick at grasping the slant or implications of the sentences.

From what i have observed, this probably comes from a culture of reading and of implementing ideas. Even when having fun, my friends would have theme parties or play games, all requiring a fairly good grasp of rules. Reading definitely helps sharpen the intellect. Plus this is a culture of confidence where a high premium is put on one's accomplishments and skills, rather than on wealth and social status. I have rarely seen Americans hesitate or talk unclearly, even the not so educated ones. People articulate their ideas and opinions confidently, and often politely. A person is rarely blamed openly, but mostly within confined circles. If something is wrong, nobody would point it out to you, unless they are close friends, and then you would be expected to find a way out of the mess. If people sense that you are not going to improve, then you are excommunicated. One has to be very discrete in expressing personal judgements or opinions and careful about the audience. Courtesies are not as important, but people expect sincerity and a willingness to work and deliver results and to collaborate with them. If all these rules can be observed, you would notice that MBAs are very friendly people :)

The culture is an open culture. As a good friend had pointed out to me once, children here are raised to believe they are superstars and have little restrictions imposed upon them. On the flipside, every person is responsible for his/her own life from a very young age and people start working towards making a mark for themselves from a very young age. Competition is a part of the culture, and people's aim in life seems to expand their personal capabilities to the maximum. Relationships, marriages and other social institutions are considered secondary to this goal. Hence the problems. If you fail, or get weak or screw up, its game over - you lose your 'friends', who are not expected to help you get your act together in the first place. So people lose everything and sometimes they get it all back. Hence, the high stress in society and the fear. People resort to marijuana, to alcohol and to other recreational drugs to 'lose' reality sometimes. It has become such an ingrained part of culture, that the line between dependence and between doing these for fun is blurred. College is supposed to be a phase in a young man/woman's life to have as much 'fun - as many outings and trips and activities and friends and sex and booze as possible. Everything is governed by the WIIFM principle - whats in it for me. It is assumed that selfishness is a person's nature and a person works towards his or her enjoyment, trying to create a personal world perfect with their personal vision of how people, situations and objects should be. However, a lot of respect is accorded a person who gives back to society. The rule for success is get successful first, take care of people and society after that.

This is some of what i have surmised so far from my interactions. Of course, I attend college and hence deal with a more informed, more purposeful group than the general populace, as my friends tell me. Of course a lot of rings close to the stereotypical image we have of the American society but seeing it at the ground level reveals many subtle nuances and differences. Lets see what discoveries the future brings.

A bit on cultural sensitivity

“Who Am I?” – such a profound multi-dimensional question! The quality, and the timing, of the answer are directly proportional to worldly and spiritual success.

When answered sincerely at the end of a profound meditation, it creates moksha. When answered correctly, during preparation of college admission essays or job interviews , it helps make smart decisions and achieve career success. Interviewers are always trying to gauge the candidate’s persona and genuineness through their questions. When introspected before a social gathering, it could lead to interesting conversations and new friends.

Yet, it is a hard hard question to answer. How do we arrive at the answer? A rare few individuals manage to answer this question on the basis of pure insight. Most of us discover the answer by scanning people around us. Ok so that guy is tall, which means I am short. That guy is poor which means I am rich. That girl scored 75% while I scored 90%, which means I am smart. Obviously, we have certain dreams of how we want our lives to be, things that would make us happy. Now, wise men say that happiness is a choice – but the devious mind calls for confirmation and proof to trust oneself and others and be content. Either one can trust that he/she is capable of facing the challenges in life, or he/she can face the challenges, succeed and then trust that this is possible. The two often form a circle, with trust leading to accomplishment leading to more trust and bigger challenges.

I read a wonderful article recently from the Harvard Business Review on how to adapt to cultures and work with people. Titled “Cultural Intelligence” , Earley and Mosakowski, HBR October 2004, this paper indicates two kinds of intelligences – emotional intelligence, which allows us to define who we are and how we are different from others, and cultural intelligence, which is understanding the values and beliefs that drive different groups. Meditation helps develop both – a keen awareness of who I am and going beyond the emotions, and a sharp perception to discern what works and does not work with people. One need not be a football of anyone’s culture, but being sensitive is important. There are three ways of doing this – through the head, through the heart or through the body. Training through the head involves understanding the beliefs, customs, and taboos of new cultures. Learning form the body involves mimicking small gestures the way others do it – it could be a simple way of shaking hands or small mannerisms. A Michigan professor found that candidates who were perceived to be culturally more similar to recruiters often had better chances of landing the job. Learning from the heart involves being strong to face setbacks and failures and keep moving. People can do that if they believe in their own efficacy. If they persevered in the face of challenging situations in the past, their confidence grew. Confidence is always rooted in mastery of a particular task or set of circumstances. This is where seva is so important, it teaches one to persist, to redefine their limitations and to break them, and to keep moving ahead.